I remembered there was a time when I was in Perth I always pass by a section of the Freeway that has the view of the Swan Brewery.
I remembered telling my ex that I have always wanted to get to the other side of the river, because that view just looked enchanting to me. Immediately he took a turn (we were driving on the freeway) and there we were at the other side of the river staring at the views that I've longed to take a closer look.
From then, I had lots of chances to be at the other side of the river because I eventually hung out with some friends that stay round the corner. And perhaps eventually I did not find the view enchanting anymore because that has become the route that I often took on the way to visit my friends.
Maybe its the same with relationships, people who have not been in one yearn to be in a romance, people in a relationship wanting opting out. I have 2 friends who recently got out of relationships that they yearned to happen so much. Simply because they were unhappy, why? IMO they just got into a relationship because of wanting to be in one. And also their relationships did not turn out to be what they have wanted it to be. Maybe its because it's the first time for both of them at the age of 28. Maybe they stull harbour the thoughts that it'd be sweet like puppy love.. Well it just disappoint them big time.
I mean I came to realise that at different ages, romance comes in different form and with different baggages. Maybe for me, the older I get the more confused it gets to know what I really want. Also prolly people get more complicated as they age. We tend to hide our real feelings for number of reasons. Mmm.. Fear of getting hurt, fear of losing face, big egos...
Comparing "mature" relationship to "puppy love", things are just so much more simple when things just revolved around liking or disliking someone. Hanging out together instead of racking our heads to think how are we going to go about buying a house, cars, substaining the family...
Until then maybe we should all learn to appreciate the views on our side of the river... Maybe that'd be one great relationship ahead.
2 comments:
I believe what you are talking about is the "Grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. Invariably, everybody suffers from it at one point in life or another. However the ones who suffer the most from it are those who do not know what they want. As a result, they become disgruntled with what they have and dream about how good life was on the other side.
Your romance is what you make of it. These fears you describe of getting hurt, losing face, ego.. you have to get over them in order to fully garner and appreciate the joy of love. There would be no married happy couples if everyone got concerned with such matters. Yes, couples will hurt each other, but such things will heal (with the possible exception of adultery). Hiding your feelings is the fastest way to become disgruntled in a relationship. And it leaves the other party no chance to make amends or to explain because they cannot read your mind.
Love is not about a feeling. Love is a decision. The difference is feelings come and go away. But the decision to love will always stay. Once you and your partner can understand that, then you will find your relationship much more wholesome. And no matter what you do, being preparing for marriage, buying house, substaining family, you will always know that you are not alone. Your partner will always be there to support you not because he feels that he loves you. But because he has made a decision to love you.
With regards to your analogy of the view across the river how people can take the same view for granted, you only have to change your viewing lens every once in a while to see a new perspective again. Sunrise, sunset, during spring, or autumn. You've just got to notice the small things and appreciate them. Besides, a river never looks the same.
I'll wager five bucks that in six months time (or even now), you're gonna miss that view.
Sorry for the long comment. Just my 2 cents worth.
Peace out.
Woah Piang!....... machiam an answer from Dr Phil!......wait!...maybe its Dr Phil!
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