Been some time since I last updated my blog. This is yet another sleepless night, dun get me wrong, nothing is bugging me prolly a case of overdose of caffin. Came back from the movies with my friends. Had a small talk with one of my girlfriends, sighh... Yes, its regarding relationships again.... One of my friends had been a player, and he was (or rather is still) in love with another player.
The first time I met my friend and his girlfriend I just had a hunch that this is for real for my friend. And naturally I feel happy for him, I could tell the love in his eyes, puppy like eyes when he looks at the girl. Just within a few short months, his romance turned into a nightmare, as he caught the woman he loved cheating on him readhanded(not in bed but close enought), am not gonna to give details on the story to protect my friend's privacy.
This friend of mine lost 10kg in less than 6weeks! Yeh prolly falling out of love is the best way to lose weight, confirmed to be more effective than weight watchers, marie france bodyline and etc etc....
We had discussions over a couple of beer and supper few nights before, he told me that he can forgive but he couldn't forget the hurt his girlfriend had caused him. He still care very much for her, she would try every means and ways to get his attention and he is giving her that! I could tell that they are still very much in love with each other but ego just keep getting better of them. Mind these are 2 very strong character people. They are very much in love but just could not be together because of the hurt. I just think that they are very lucky at this stage as there isnt a third or 4th party at this stage. What the hack! Just get back together and if things still screw up this time it simply means they are not meant to be. Wouldnt this be more straight forward?
Even if it means to reopen all the wounds and leaving a scar - an ugly one, it would beat not healing completely on the inside. People often have fears to drive them to do foolish things, in this case I truly understand how the girl might have felt. They settle in a little too quick, meeting the whole family, living together within 6mths of courtship. I am not saying the girl is right to cheat on my friend, I am trying to say that shit like this happens. Being a player the worst fear to them is to settle into a relationship too quickly, when everything becomes so routine it might just drive things to go the wrong way. I have been there done that with my ex(although I did not cheat on my ex, I did do stupid things to piss him off and drive him away, and distance myself from him). Imagine with someone you just started going out, everymorning the first person you see is that person, the last one you see is the same person. I had this fear when I was 21. My friend was saying it was perfectly "okay" for me to be in fear, because I was only 21! To me, this is not a matter of age, it happens to people of any age group. This kind of fear just creaps up to one unknowingly and it gets them real bad and it pushes one to do stupid things like straying.
While the healing process is long and painful, it doesn't help when the 2 persons are still in contact and behaving like good friends. This is the exact same thing that my friend is doing, he is still caring towards the girl and the guilt is killing her slowly and is eating my friend up badly! So are human psychopaths that like to hurt themselves and the ones they love? In my opinion - YES!
Prolly the best way is for one to be cruel, cut off all connections, avoid each other at all costs. While this is not the best solution it is not a bad solution afterall, as it cuts all contact. It beats hanging there and nothing is coming out of the stalemate.
In anycase I rather forget than to forgive, afterall forgetting about the hurt is better than forgiving someone but yet hanging on to the hurt/damage done, prolly the easiest way out for me. Wouldn't it be nicer to forget about the person totally and move on instead of forcing myself to forgive when I cannot forget?
It takes more strength to cry, admit defeat. - You'll See by Madonna
2 comments:
I agree daily routine can be quite boring but once in awhile it will be good to do something different so tha both won't get all decomposed! (heehee) Maybe I'm more tolerant but even after 3 yrs, the thought of seeing joe thenext day still makes me excited or at ease. Maybe its more like how u spend it than who u spend it with.
its not so abt being routine or not.... its more abt y forgive when u cant forget? mite as well forget abt the whole thing and not forgive?
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